There is a hidden reason believers are changing less, even as they understand more.

CARL THOMAS

NOV 13, 2025

I want to make two things clear at the outset of this post before we go any further:

1. I value and believe in the work of licensed therapists.
2. Some Christians have a therapist because they don’t have a pastor.

Many believers today are getting help, but they are not getting shepherded. We are more self-aware than ever, more emotionally articulate than ever, more trauma-informed than ever, yet somehow less formed into the image of Christ. There is a reason for that, and there are specific things we need to do about it.

The church has embraced seeking professional help for mental health struggles. And for that we are better. Because I am married to a therapist, and because I have spent time in therapy myself, I have deep respect for what trained counselors do. People are finally naming their wounds, gaining language for trauma, learning how to regulate emotions, and finding real relief. I thank God for that.

The human soul was never designed to navigate life alone. The writers of Scripture assume believers will have shepherds, spiritual fathers and mothers, and a community who actually know them. Many Christians turn to therapy because they have never experienced true pastoral care. They did not have a pastor who knew them, walked with them, or offered godly counsel so they left the Church to seek shepherding.

Yet the modern church has normalized a structure where most people attend a service, watch a sermon, and never receive pastoral care. That vacuum leaves pain. And in that vacuum, therapy becomes the substitute.

And this is not just my observation. Christian therapists themselves see this every week.

I have talked with Christian therapists who tell me that they have clients who really just need a pastor. They need a person to help them understand what it means to walk out their faith. And the only person they can find to do that is someone they pay $125 an hour.

At the same time, pastors are becoming less stewards of the faith and more quasi-therapeutic life coaches. Instead of hosting the holy presence of God and pointing toward the divine, talks are focused on leadership, success, and feeling better about life.

There is a real danger in this drift. The more the Church borrows the language of therapy and business, the easier it becomes to blur the difference between healing and holiness, or between personal success and spiritual formation.

Three Voices, Three Callings

The pastoral voice has been sidelined because many pastors simply stopped pastoring. People come to church expecting a mentor for their sex life or their finances, or a therapeutic message that makes them feel better without demanding they change. And pastors, hungry for success, have given them exactly that.

Pseudo-therapy and life coaching don’t bring the lasting transformation that only comes from an encounter with God. This is why we need to understand the difference between a therapist, a mentor, and a pastor. Not so we’ll drop our therapist or fire our mentor, but so we’ll know what to ask from our pastors. And so pastors will remember what they were actually called to do.

A therapist helps you understand what is going on inside of you. They help you name your pain, unpack your story, and work through the places where life has fractured you. When someone is dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, or long-term patterns they cannot unravel on their own, a licensed therapist is a gift from God.

A mentor helps you grow in an area where you lack experience. They help you set goals, build habits, and move forward with clarity. They give practical guidance and accountability shaped by their own journey.

A pastor is something else entirely. A pastor is entrusted with your soul. A pastor listens to your story, but also listens to the Spirit on your behalf. A pastor’s concern is not how you feel or what you’ve accomplished, but whether you are being formed into the image of Christ. A therapist may help you heal. A mentor may help you grow. A pastor walks with you as you learn to obey Jesus.

The Limits of Good Advice

A therapist can help you understand your emotions, but they cannot call you into holiness. Therapy, by design, centers on your well-being as you define it. A therapist may help you feel at ease with choices that Scripture calls you to confront. They can help you manage guilt without ever addressing whether that guilt is tied to sin that needs repentance.

A mentor guides you toward goals and opportunities, but sometimes the goals they celebrate move you further from the purpose God has for you. A mentor may tell you how to climb the ladder without asking if the ladder is leaning on the wrong wall.

Both are good. Both are necessary at times. But neither has the authority to speak to the state of your soul. Neither can tell you when sin is corroding your integrity. Neither can walk you through repentance. And if you lean on them for what only the Holy Spirit can do through a pastor, you end up carrying burdens that get heavier over time.

Only your pastor, embedded in your faith community, listening to the Holy Spirit, can help lift that weight. A pastor is not trying to help you feel better or achieve more. A pastor is trying to help you become like Jesus. That is what brings freedom.

When Pastors Forfeit Their Calling

Many pastors have forfeited their calling for something easier to digest. Our current culture values numerical growth, not deeper disciples. And when a pastor starts chasing crowds, they stop shepherding. They become a motivational speaker or a life coach. They become an underqualified pseudo therapist offering soothing language that never asks people to surrender anything (other than money). It is safer. It is more popular. And it is completely powerless.

People show up on Sundays expecting tips for better relationships or strategies for success. They want a spiritual mentor who can help them optimize their life. Or they want a therapeutic message that will ease the pressure they feel without challenging the choices that created it. And pastors, hungry for approval, give them exactly that. It fills the room, but it empties the soul.

This is not what we were entrusted with. The Church does not exist to make people more balanced or more productive. The Church exists to make people more like Jesus. And the only way that happens is when pastors embrace their call to shepherd. A shepherd guides. A shepherd warns. A shepherd protects. A shepherd feeds the flock with the word of God even when it cuts against the grain of the culture. A shepherd loves people enough to tell them the truth.

When pastors offer comfort instead of conviction, people stay stuck. They learn to manage their pain without ever addressing the sin beneath it. They build better lives without ever surrendering their will. They leave inspired but unchanged. And their souls quietly starve while they assume they are being fed.

The Weight of Souls

Pastors will give an account for the souls under their care. That should make every pastor tremble. We are responsible for souls, not crowds. For truth, not brand management. For forming people in the way of Jesus, not producing a room full of people who feel inspired for an hour and unchanged for a lifetime.

When pastors abandon their calling, the Church loses its anchor. We were handed the faith once passed down for all the saints. When pastors stop guarding it and stop preaching it, the Church becomes vulnerable to every cultural trend that promises comfort but never produces holiness.

Go Find Your Pastor

Honor your therapist. Learn from your mentor. But go find a pastor.

You need someone who knows your name, knows your story, knows your weaknesses, and is committed to walking with you toward Christ. Not a communicator who entertains you for an hour. Not a life coach who motivates you. You need a shepherd who will care for your soul.

Find a church that will actually let you have one. A church where shepherding is more important than attendance. A church where the word of God shapes the sermon instead of cultural trends. A church where the leaders care about the state of your soul more than the size of the crowd.

Do not settle for a place that only makes you feel inspired. Look for a place that helps you become holy. Look for a place where pastors shepherd, where mentors support, where therapists heal, but where the voice of the shepherd is clear and present. You were not created to navigate your faith alone. God designed the Christian life to be lived under spiritual care that points you to Jesus again and again.

Honor your therapist. Learn from your mentor. But find a pastor who will lead you in the way of Christ. Your soul will thank you for it.

The Future Belongs to Spirit-Filled ShepherdsCARL THOMAS·AUG 27Read full story

Pastors, Lead the Change

We need to stay in our lane. We need to care more about the person than the people. What will it profit us to fill every seat and lose our own souls in the process? The Church does not need more performers or strategists. It needs shepherds.

We reproduce what we are pursuing. If we chase relevance or influence, that is what we form in our people. But if we return to our first calling, to know God, to shepherd souls, to form disciples, the Church will find its way back to Jesus. The flock always follows the shepherd.

We began with the question of how believers can be more self-aware than ever and yet less formed into the image of Christ. The answer is not better insight. It is better shepherding. If pastors recover the courage to shepherd again, believers will recover the capacity to be shaped again. The change starts with us. And the Church will rise or fall on whether we choose to be pastors in truth, not in title.

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