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Welcome to the News & Record’s “Jokes on You” page. Here is this week’s cartoon for your caption consideration, and last week’s cartoon and entries for you amusement (see below). Feel free to post comments and ask questions.

I know last week’s cartoon drove you bananas. But you’ll get a charge out of next week’s cartoon.

Last week’s cartoon was – the bananas.

This week’s cartoon – the one you’ll be writing captions for – is the batteries.

LAST WEEK’S WINNER

“Oh, no. Nana’s gone streaking again.”

George and Julie Sanders

RUNNERS-UP

“The fruit bowl won’t be the same without him.”

Bill Wallace, High Point

“Wardrobe malfunction.”

Tim Tribbett

“Gesundheit.”

David Core, Greensboro

“OMG!  I don’t think I’m ready for the nude beach.”

Ken Berkey, Summerfield

“You’re just an accident waiting to happen”

Lesa Layno

“No guts!”

Shirley Stultz, Climax

“She had the better divorce lawyer.”

Henry, Greensboro

“I TOLD him he shouldn’t have gotten that pet monkey.”

Ken Sheldon, Elon

“I, for one, applaud his courage in coming out.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

JUNIOR WINNER

“I think the janitor was hungry.”

De’Angelo, Gillespie Park

THE JUDGES ALSO LIKED …

“I warned him against keeping a pet chimp.”

Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Il.

“I’ll never forget his expression when he saw the tarantula on his shoulder.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

How many times have I asked you to pick up your clothes?

Randy Loggins, Kernersville

“He was never comfortable in his own skin.”

Betty Dixon, Greensboro

I don’t know; he must have slipped on something.

Hal Koger, McLeansville

Well, you said give me some skin!!!!

Tony Bean, Danbury

Heard he lost it all in a high stakes game of strip poker last night !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

I didn’t know this was a nude beach.

Tim Tribbett

“He should never have played strip poker.”

Philippe Wiener, Greensboro

Darned kids always leaving their clothes on the floor!

Tim Tribbett

“Ironically, he slipped.”

Bob Beitzel, Greensboro

——————————-

BEST INSIDE JOKE

Tim missed the waste can again.

Tom Conally, Gibsonville

“Apparently, King Kong has come back here from several weeks ago!”

“Hey!  Where are my entries from last week?”

Paul J. Klosterman, High Point.

Rickard, no cheating on your diet.

Henry, Greensboro

He was last seen near a blender on August 1st.

David Core, Greensboro

BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE

“I know a guy with a very particular set of skills that will make this abduction a nightmare for someone.”

“Looks like Emma was the victim of an avenger.”

“I guess Carmen Miranda got hungry.”

“Told him not to run with the wild bunch.”

“Said she wanted a career as an ecdysiast.”

“They say Wallace was last seen running down the street shouting ‘Freedom!'”

“It’s Roseanne Roseannadannabanana – she never should have left the SNL bunch.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

You know the nearer the destination the closer you’re slip sliddin’ away.

Kurt Gubitz, Chi Il.

“Daylight come and he’s still not going home.”

“When we catch the culprit, make sure you advise him of his (Carmen) Miranda Rights.”

Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Ill.

His last words were “daylight come and me wan’ go home.”

David Core, Greensboro

It’s been a cruel, cruel summer!

I didn’t know her, but I think her last name was Rama.

Mike Perry

He deserved it.  That’s the worst knock-knock joke ever~

Mike Perry, Eden

Banana? Banana who?

It’s definitely a banana split- but is it Fleegle, Droopy, Snorky or Bingo?

Mike Perry, Eden

The victim’s last name is, ironically, Foster.

David Core, Greensboro

BEST/WORST PUN

“I’m worried about her welfare now that she’s on the Dole.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

Hey, at least it wasn’t an “appealing” pun.

BEST POEMS

“My our day,” said the bride to be Anna,

“I was told by our wedding day planna.

    On that day will be seen

    A carribean scene –

A Havana Banana Cabanna.”

Ken Sheldon, Elon

SCHOOL/JR. ENTRIES (elementary / middle school)

Gillespie Park Junior entries, entered by Louise Monroe

Jordan: Are you shot?

De’Angelo: I think the janitor was hungry.

Torian: They were right when they said your sides were splitting.

Torian : Dude, you’re like a snake’s skin.

Travon: I’ll tell you what he did: a banana split.

Travon: That’s how you do the banana peel, right there.

1.) Looks like the annoying orange got under his skin.

2.) I didn’t mean to scare you out of your skin!

3.)  I warned him not to play any Donkey Kong.

4.)  I want to play hide-and-go-seek too!

5.)  I don’t think break dancing’s for me.

Lacie Hege, 10, Greensboro

‘So it says right here that your strength is honesty….’-

Reagan Melton, stokesdale, 6th grade, northwest middle school

———–

THE REST

Cinderella must have been here – she dropped her slipper.

Is George running around naked?

Ken Sheldon, Elon

“You’re just an accident waiting to happen”

Lesa Layno

Showoff!!

Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

“He split.”

Philippe Wiener, Greensboro

“Banana Split Zone”

Terrial Aiken

Wow! That’s some banana split!

Ken Sheldon, Elon

He ran away when you wanted to fight. Guess he really was yellow.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

1.  “I’ve got a call in to Liam Neesen.”

2.  “I know a guy with a very particular set of skills that will make this abduction a nightmare for someone.”

3.  “Looks like APDS – acquired potassium deficiency syndrome.”

4.  “A chalk outline would make it look like an octopus was offed.”

5.  “Looks like Emma was the victim of an avenger.”

6.  “Send not to know for whom the bell peels….”

7.  “I guess Carmen Miranda got hungry.”

8.  “Told him not to run with the wild bunch.”

9.  “Well, he said he wasn’t peeling very well.”

10.  “He texted me this morning – said he was going to make like a banana and split.”

11.  “Said she wanted a career as an ecdysiast.”

12.  “Now, now – let’s not panic unless we receive a ransom note.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

1.  “All I can say is she better use a sunscreen with a high SPF.”

2.  “I for one applaud his courage in coming out.”

3.  “I’ll never forget his expression when he saw the tarantula on his shoulder.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

We can’t slip on our own kind.

This is just one of their ways of making you talk.

I wonder what type of sandwich here became part of?

See, I told you Elvis was still alive. No he’s not, there’s no peanut butter left behind.

Steve Nance, Gibsonville

1.  “I always suspected he had a split personality.”

2.  “Just last night she said she had a splitting headache.”

3.  “They say Wallace was last seen running down the street shouting ‘Freedom!'”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

“What’s been eating you?”

Carla Blaine, Greensboro

Alas poor Yorick, I knew him well.

Ellen W. Gerber (Lennie)

Want to bet what time the dark spots will show up?

I can’t pick it up.  Can you?

Gone from our midst because of potassium content.

This should be good for a three-part series in the newspaper.

The camera on the street corner will show who did this.

Joan Lux, Greensboro

“He heard ‘Let he who is without skin cast the first stone,’ grabbed a rock and split.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

That’s not how you do a banana split. !

Don Blaine, Greensboro

1)  He must have been raptured.  And we’re left behind.

Randy Loggins, Kernersville

1)  How many times have I asked you to pick up your clothes?

2)  We scared him out of his skin again!

3)  Your daughter has gone skinny-dippin’ again!

Randy Loggins, Kernersville

Regarding The Joke’s On You September 19:

“He was never comfortable in his own skin.”

Betty Dixon, Greensboro

No guts!

Shirley Stultz, Climax

“I just thought of a new ice cream flavor.”

Bob Beitzel, Greensboro

Man! That dude has split!

Keith Gunn, Greensboro

“He is an accident waiting to happen.”

Betty Dixon, Greensboro

I don’t know; he must have slipped on something.

Hal Koger, McLeansville

I TOLD him he shouldn’t have gotten that pet monkey…

Ken Sheldon, Elon

1. Well, you said give me some skin!!!!

2. It says “all Natural” produce!

3. Who peeled out ??

Tony Bean, Danbury

1. Well you said “give me some skin”!

2. It says ” All Natural” Produce!!

3. Who peeled out ???

Tony Bean, Danbury

Why’d you go and spill your guts to that cop ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

” another one bites the dust”

Barbara Ingool

“I always said he was too appealing for his own good.”

“She was just too old for cheerleading.”

Barbara Brubaker of Greensboro

Shhh, he’s waiting on Humpty Dumpty !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

She really lost her appeal.

Watch your step!

Tim missed the waste can again.

Another brother slipped out again.

Rite of passage!

He lost his core values.

Moulting among the bananas.

It’s so sad, I fell so helpless.

Tom Conally, Gibsonville

“What happened?  Did you slip on something?”

“He must have slipped on something.”

Aurelia Smith, Lexington

At least he slipped away peacefully, didn’t he ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

He never let’s anything slip past him, does he ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

“I always knew he was an empty suit”

Susan Hobson, High Point

Heard he lost it all in a high stakes game of strip poker last night !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

He’s just not very a-peeling any more.

Jim Hobson, High Point

Didn’t you hear him peeling out in that new car last night ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

His divorce turned his life inside out, didn’t it ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

1.) Frankly, she’s lost he a peel.

2.) We can’t afford any more slip ups.

Tim Tribbett

“Gives ‘banana split’ a new meaning.”

“He’s really come out of his shell.”

Phil Valla, Greensboro

“I wonder what he slipped on.”

“That isn’t very appealing.”

“I’ve heard of a banana split, but this is ridiculous!”

Jim Ertner, Greensboro

“He never got to meet Harry Belafonte.”

“He’ll never watch The Wild Bunch again.”

Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Il.

My suggested caption for this week’s cartoon is:

“At least he wasn’t swallowed whole!”

Pat Neal, High Point

“WATCH YOUR STEP. I HEAR HE’S  A SLIPPERY CHARACTER.”

Jim Plyler, Greensboro

I didn’t know this was a nude beach.

Tim Tribbett

I’m dating a stripper.

Tim Tribbett

“He should never have played strip poker.”

Philippe Wiener, Greensboro

“Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio”

Harvey B. Herman, Greensboro

“OMG!  I don’t think I’m ready for the nude beach.”

Ken Berkey, Summerfield

“Could be the rapture.  Or maybe Ms. Wray’s monkey.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

“It’s Roseanne Roseannadannabanana – she never should have left the SNL bunch.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

“I’m worried about her welfare now that she’s on the Dole.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

1.) Looks like the Chiquita Company gave more workers the slip.

2.) Did you hear on the news about the cereal peeler?

3.) That must have been some workout!

4.) He told me that his grades was slipping, but I didn’t take him serious.

5.)  Humm, I wonder what’s eating him?

6.) Another groom to be, just slipped away.

7.) Danna Banana has a role in a play as a star-fish.

Catherine Hege, Greensboro

Jake just split.

lydia bolmer

You,two, can do the banana split

Uldine Duckworth, Geensboro

And as you can see this also has the wall in closet…

Nokoni Logan, Greensboro

Darned kids always leaving their clothes on the floor!

Tim Tribbett

Hey, let’s get a lap dance.

Tim Tribbett

I buy all my clothes at this Goodwill.

Tim Tribbett

I hate those hospital gowns.

Tim Tribbett

Wait a while and we can buy it in basic black.

Tim Tribbett

“I warned him against keeping a pet chimp.”

“He does a great octopus impersonation.”

“Looks like another cereal killer on the loose.”

“And after he made that great banana float for this years parade.”

Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Il.

“Daylight come and he’s still not going home.”

“See you Dad.”

“When we catch the culprit, make sure you advise him

of his (Carmen) Miranda Rights.”

“He never became anyone’s second banana.”

Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Ill.

I hate it when the kids leave their clothes on the floor.

Tim Tribbett

I’m out of hangers.

Tim Tribbett

All I said was”Gimme some skin Bro!”.

Tim Tribbett

I’m looking for something in a darker color.

Tim Tribbett

1.  “I’ve got a call in to Liam Neeson.”

2.  “I know a guy with a very particular set of skills that will make this abduction a nightmare for someone.”

3.  “Looks like APDS – acquired potassium deficiency syndrome.”

4.  “A chalk outline would make it look like an octopus was offed.”

5.  “Looks like Emma was the victim of an avenger.”

6.  “Send not to know for whom the bell peels….”

7.  “I guess Carmen Miranda got hungry.”

8.  “Told him not to run with the wild bunch.”

9.  “Well, he said he wasn’t peeling very well.”

10.  “He texted me this morning – said he was going to make like a banana and split.”

11.  “Said she wanted a career as an ecdysiast.”

12.  “Now, now – let’s not panic unless we receive a ransom note.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

Too much ‘pot’ and not enough ‘assium’.

Looks like an accident waiting to happen!

That’s what happens to a straight man!

Never seen him before.

Don’t recognize him.

Let’s pass by on the other side.

Keith Peddie, Greensboro

Wow, you really gave those guys the slip !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

It’s called a split in gymnastics too !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Wow, now that’s what I call a banana split !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

“He did not go gently into that good night”.

Luther Jackson, Stoneville

Hey, are you not “peeling” well?

Dianne McMillan

Hey, are you not “peeling” well?

Dianne McMillan, Greensboro

I told him to put a belt on.

Tim Tribbett

I know how you peel!

Mike Greene, Greensboro

“That is not the kind of banana split I had in mind!

He thinks he is so cute but he is not that ‘appealing’ at all!”

Ginny

That’s not very appealing

Stan Atkins, Greensboro

“He never made it to a ripe old age.”

“Let’s give him the slip.”

“Maybe he got fresh with someone.”

Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Il.

Wardrobe malfunction.

Tim Tribbett

“Ironically, he slipped.”

Bob Beitzel, Greensboro

I told you those face peels weren’t good for you!

Brenda Saunders, Greensboro

What’s the matter son, aren’t you peeling well?

Steve Bombart, Greensboro

“We’ll laugh about this one day, when somebody slips and falls.”

Larry Parrish,  Eden

You know the nearer the destination the closer you’re slip sliddin’ away.

Kurt Gubitz, Chi Il.

Slipping on a banana isn’t funny to me, but to some it has great appeal!

Mike Perry, Eden

It was a just death- after all, he was a cereal killer!

Mike Perry, Eden

It’s been a cruel, cruel summer! I didn’t know her, but I think her last name was

Rama.

Mike Perry

No home, no loved ones, no one even knew her name- she was just a plain jane plantain!

Mike Perry

Some bananas die because they are mottled, brown, spotted, rotten, mildewed or mushy.  But this guy, he was just plain yellow!

Mike Perry

I told him that if you cross against New York traffic, you better keep your eyes peeled!

Mike Perry

I told him not to banana around with monkeys!

Mike Perry

Another victim of gorilla warfare!

Mike Perry, Eden

Boy, he tanned really fast!

Tim Tribbett

1.) That happens when you drink Gnatty Greene!

2.) He had to split.

Tim Tribbett

I know we always said “one day he’d leave the nest”, but I didn’t expect THIS!

Bob Langlais, Kernersville

He sure slipped away fast, didn’t he ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Is this your idea of a banana split ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

I heard the police suspect some monkey business !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

See what happens when you let your zipper down ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Deep inside he never left the banana republic, did he ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Did the fall on the ice cause your slipped disc ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

He’s finally slipped away to a more smoothie state !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

He’s finally slipped away to a more smoothie state !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

He’s finally slipped away to a more smoothie state !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Please stop flaunting your gymnastic skills in front of us !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Wow, he laughed so hard at my joke he split his sides !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

He couldn’t take being laid off by Fruit of the Loom !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Now will you believe he’s on the dating naked TV show ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Looks like he’s gone for a little skinny dip, doesn’t it ?

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

That ape really skinned him alive !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

You really know how to get under his skin !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Look, just thinking about him makes her skin crawl !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

You should have seen it!  It wasn’t a tap, a slap, a chop or even a punch.  Oh no! It was a banana slug!!!

Mike Perry, Eden

Now, that’s a banana split!

Lynda Perry, Eden

“Someone went the full monty.”

“It would be the definition of irony if one of us slipped on that.”

Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

He deserved it.  That’s the worst knock-knock joke ever~

Mike Perry, Eden

Monte did say bugs make his skin crawl.

Chiquita’s beauty on went skin deep.

Freeing herself from within had great appeal.

Carlos D’Agostino, Greensboro

Somebody grab the ice cream,he done split himself.

He just had the split scared out of him

Maranda Wilkerson, Greensboro

Holy spilt!

Carlos D’Agostino, Greensboro

“She in a split”

Karen McAdoo Greensboro.

#1: “Where did he go?”

#2: “Apparently, King Kong has come back here from several weeks ago!”

#3: “Let’s see if we can get people to fall for this one!”

#4: “Hey!  Where are my entries from last week?”

#5: “This is our new diet banana!”

#6: “We have a Halloween costume here for anybody who wants one!”

#7: “The dog ate it!”

#8: “It looks like he split!”

#9: “Well, I guess this means you’re the first banana now!”

#10: “At least somebody’s getting their proper fill of potassium!”

#11: “Yes, we’re all here legally from Honduras!”

#12: “La la la, la la la la, la la la, la la la la!  One banana, two bananas, three bananas, four!…”

Paul J. Klosterman, High Point.

1.) What kind of club did you take me to?!

2.) Looks like he someone has been monkeying around.

3.) He has a banana split personality.

Tim Tribbett

That’ll t-t-teach him to chiquita on me.

It’s like Bill Maher without an APPLAUSE sign.

That’s the four skin I’ve seen today.

From yellow to brown.  No REDSKINS!

Kurt Gubitz, Chi Il.

Police are look for the assailant. Described are 50 feet tall and very hairy.

He’s on a slippery slope to ruin.

You see him as half peeled. I see him as half un-peeled.

Henry, Greensboro

She had the better divorce lawyer.

Rickard, no cheating on your diet.

Henry, Greensboro

Well, he was just never happy in his own skin.

I was afraid that this would start happening more often when people found out that we have more vitamins than apples.

I only hope that he has gone to ‘banana split’ heaven.

Vestal Palmer, Greensboro

“Why do you think the banana split?

Kris Voy, Trinity

It fell off. These kids and their loose baggy peels!

Tim Tribbett

Oh no, he’s dating naked !

Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

“The police report said death by smoothie”

Jonathan Sparrow-Greensboro

It’s definitely a banana split- but is it Fleegle, Droopy, Snorky or Bingo?

Mike Perry, Eden

Looks like a Banana Split!

Steve Sumner, Summerfield

“Oh no…Nana’s gone streaking again.”

George and Julie Sanders

Looks like the judge threw out our appeal

Carl R D’Agostino, Greensboro

He died with a song in his heart- “Doin’ What Comes Gnatur’ly!”

Mike Perry

Gesundheit.

I told you Junior was too young for a haunted house.

Dude. don’t be such a peel.

This strip club is really awesome.

That’s the first time I’ve ever seen one of us slip.

This is the last time I tell that kid to pick up after himself.

I see your wife is still into yoga.

I thought this pants on the ground fad would have ended by now.

The victims last name is ironically Foster.

If we don’t solve this murder, I’m gonna go, well you know.

I didn’t know streaking was popular again.

When he said he had to split, I didn’t think he meant it literally.

This looks like the work of a cannibal.

His last words were “daylight come and me wan’ go home.”

He was last seen near a blender on August 1st.

David Core, Greensboro

It would be pretty ironic if we slipped on that.

Tim Tribbett

We’ll need a chalk outline and police tape.

Tim Tribbett

Now that move he called “The Banana Split.”

Beverly Richmond of Greensboro

At least he didn’t die in vain.  Here come Moe and Curly.

Don’t look at me like that, Gloria.  I told you not to go out with Cheetah.

You can’t tell a banana by its cover.  Who the heck was that?

Obviously it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

Looks like Joe Bananas split.

I didn’t know we shed.

Caroline McGuinn, High Point

WOW| What a way to go.

Lets go skating.

Don Rankin, Greensboro

Freudian slip.

Henry, Grensboro

“This new ‘curb a peel’ campaign should improve home values in the neighborhood.”

Larry Parrish,  Eden

“You DO realize the penalty for perjury, don’t you?”

“Looks like he’s given us the slip.”

“Wow. This is not what I thought he meant when he said “I’m gonna split now.”

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

“You DO realize the penalty for perjury, don’t you, Larry….Larry???”

“Looks like Larry was serious when he said that he was taking up magic.  Good Trick.”

“For some reason, I’m craving nuts, Ice cream, and something syrupy….is that wrong?”

“I thought that the therapist was having some success with getting Larry out of his shell.”

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

“Looks like he’s given us the slip.”

“Wow. This is not what I thought he meant when he said “I’m gonna split now.”

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

We need to notify his wife, Chiquita.

Looks like he had to split.

Worst posture I’ve ever seen.

The fruit bowl won’t be the same without him.

He never was comfortable in his skin.

The Fruit of the Loom gang just lost a charter member.

He was the last one from his family tree.

Bill Wallace, High Point