Airlines Jokes

“History In recent years, some flight attendants and pilots on commercial airlines have decided to have some fun with their passengers during their announcements. Here are some real examples of airline crews trying to entertain their passengers with funny announcements: 

From the pilot came this on-board welcome message: “We are pleased to say that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight.” 

Another pilot announced to the passengers, “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch off the seat belt sign. Feel free to move about, but please stay inside the plane until we land, since it’s a bit cold outside!” 

From the flight attendant giving passengers their basic instructions: “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child with you, secure your mask before assisting them with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, please decide now which one you love more.” 

After a really rough landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. Once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.” 

Another flight attendant’s comment on a very bumpy landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us up to the terminal.” 

Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement was, “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways. Now, last one off the plane gets to clean it.”” 

from “Unlocking the Scriptures”

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