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A few good Senior Moments

An elderly gentleman…..
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the
doctor and the doctor fitted him with a hearing aid that allowed him to
hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor who said,
‘Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you
can hear again.’
The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet..
I just sit around and listen to their conversation. I’ve changed my
Will three times!’

***

Two elderly gentlemen at a retirement center were sitting on a bench
under a tree when one turned to the other and said: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years
old  and full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do
you feel?’
Slim says, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’
‘Really!? Like a newborn baby!?’
‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’

***

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went to the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out
to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it to
you.’
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What is the name
of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know…. The one that’s red and has thorns.’
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the
kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went
to last night?’

***

Couple in their nineties were having problems remembering things.
During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay,
but they might want to start writing things to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
chair. ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he asks.
‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’
‘Sure..’
‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’ she
asks.
‘No, I can remember it.’
‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write
it down, so as not to forget it?’
He says, ‘I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries.’
‘I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it
down?’ she asks.
Irritated, he says, ‘I don’t need to write it down, I can remember! Ice
cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for goodness
sake!’
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs..
She stares at the plate for a moment.
‘Where’s my toast ?’

***
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’
Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’
Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer..’

***

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t
matter..

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